Pro life

 Abortion. What a touchy subject. Usually people are either on one scale or another on this. 

There are many reasons why people try to justify abortions. 

Health of the mother, health of the baby, rape, financial issues, social issues, flawed foster care. 

All of these are serious. 

First I will address the health of the mother.

When I was 27 weeks pregnant, I had to deliver my baby. A few beforehand I had developed preeclampsia which is really high blood pressure. 

At 27 weeks it got so high that my blood platelets started dropping seriously low. So low that the doctors decided to do an emergency c-section and deliver my baby. I was terrified. It was too early. 3 months early. What if my baby didn't make it? But we went ahead and had her. If we had waited even a day longer, I would not have made it. I almost died during the operation. I had 4 blood transfusions. 

My daughter was 1 pound 14 ounces when she was born. She was tiny. But she had all her body parts. She could cry, feel pain and she was super alert. She could see, hear and breath. Yes she needed support to breath but she was alive. Not a clump of cells. 

Now on to abortion for health of the baby. 

Doctors are not always right when they say there's something wrong with the baby. My friends mom was told that her son would be a vegetable when he was born. He was not. He's 34 years old and thriving with a wide and kid on the way. 

My cousin was born with trisomy 18 and even though my aunt and uncle knew that she would have that, they chose life. They were told she wouldn't live more than a couple days. She lived to be 1 year old. 

Rape is terrible. A violation.  And to get pregnant on top of that is hard. But abortion is another violation. It's not the baby's fault that he was conceived of rape. The bravest and most noble thing would be to give the baby life. 

Also the father ( not a rapist) should get a say in the life of his child. It takes two to make a baby. A man needs to be responsible too. 

If you don't want the baby, please consider adoption. There are many families who would love to adopt a baby. And if they are put in foster care, at least they are alive and have a home. I'm sure the child would be happier that you gave them a chance at life than killing them. Yes the foster care system is flawed. Yes they need help. That's why all life matters. Unborn and born. Every life is precious. A person is a person no matter how small. They all need protection. 

Now if you have had an abortion, I won't sit here and condemn you. I'm sure you have gotten enough shame from people about that. God still loves you very much and will forgive you. People need to be more supportive of mothers who have gone through an abortion and who feel regret and shame. I am here for you and I love you. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of of God. But there is good news! If you come to Him, Jesus will wash away your sins. He died so we could all have life and spend eternity with Him. It's a free gift. You just need to accept it. We can all choose to believe in Him and confess that He is Lord or we can choose the sinful destructive path that leads straight to Hell. Friends, please don't choose that path. Choose God. Choose Jesus. Choose Life. Eternal life. God's waiting for you. Answer His call. He loves you. 

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord : and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

Psalms 127:3 KJV

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

Psalm 139:13‭-‬14 ESV

"Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."

Jeremiah 1:4‭-‬5 ESV

"And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord."

Luke 1:41‭-‬45 ESV

"On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother's womb you have been my God."

Psalm 22:10 ESV

"Thus says the Lord , your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: "I am the Lord , who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself"

Isaiah 44:24 ESV

Jesus is Coming

America the great, America the beautiful, America the Free.

When America was first established, they set up amendments that made sure that it would be the best country on earth. They trusted in God. 

The very first Amendment says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

How far America has fallen. How far off the straight and narrow it has come. There are riots, division and hate speech. If you go online and have an opinion that people disagree with, you get caught up in useless back and forth arguments on who is right and it gets really messy and hurtful. 

If you disagree with abortion you get accused of oppressing women's rights to their bodies. 

Now with covid-19 all of a sudden your rights are starting to diminish. I won't debate masks. I personally don't mind if other people wear them, that's up to them. I chose not to wear one, due to getting lightheaded and bad headaches after wearing them.

Churches shut down and protests started up with terrible, terrible riots. I am all for peaceful protests, but when violence starts, people and business are put in harm's way, that's when it goes too far. 

California is now banning singing, church and bible studies. 

This is an attack on the church. I know Romans 13 says to submit to authority, but at what cost?

When the apotles were told by authorities not to preach anymore, that did not stop them. They were martyrs for their faith. 

When countries overseas were told they couldn't have church or bibles, that did not stop them.

Hebrews 10:25 says :

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."

I believe the rapture is quickly approaching. We need to be watching for Jesus' return! With everything that is going on, it only makes sense that the day is quickly approaching, prophecy is unfolding before our eyes. 

We need to be gathering together without fear and preparing for His return. Studying the Bible and praying and spreading the gospel.
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."- Matthew 28:19‭-‬20
The only way to the Father is through Christ Jesus. 

John 14:6- Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."-Romans 6:23 

John 3:16-" For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Jesus died for you and me! If we accept Jesus as our Savior, we can spend eternity in Heaven with Him, instead of going to Hell and burning for all eternity. 

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."- Romans 10:9 

 " It is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God."-Romans 14:11 

Please, before it's too late, turn to God. Let's start a revival in America again. 

Soon the rapture will come and believe me you don't want to be left behind when that happens. Read Revelation if you want to see what happens. 

I love you all so much, and I would love to see you all in eternity with God. Let's all pray for each other. Prayer is what we all need. Don't forget, God loves you so much and wants a relationship with you. Will you give him that?

We cannot live in fear of a virus anymore. It breaks my heart to see so many people social distancing from others. If you're sick, please stay home. If not, please gather with believers and worship God without fear. It makes me so sad seeing nearly empty churches gathering. So many people are ok with staying home watching church on TV in fear that if they go out they will get sick. 

 Let's be bold and live for Christ! 

Revival in America

Yesterday we had a guest pastor at church, and what he was preaching about really hit home and made a lot of sense. I know God was with him in what he was saying. 

He was talking about how there needs to be a revival in America again. The first one was in the 1700s. There was a man named Cotton Mather who prayed to God every day from 1678, until his death in 1728 for a revival in America. That is 50 years!!! 

Now he died before the revival happened, but it did happen a few years after he died. 

2 Chronicles 7:14 says: if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

I believe that this country needs a revival. Now I don't know if that will happen, or if Jesus will come back before it can happen, but I know prayer is powerful! 

Prayer is what Amerca needs right now. Not more troops or doing more things ourselves to try and get this country right again, but PRAYER.

Ask God what He wants us to do. 

We all need to humble our selves and pray for a revival. For God to heal our land again. I know He wants to hear from us. 

How can we expect Him to fix everything without us asking Him first? 

Let's all stop focusing on all the wrongs and broken things for a moment that we can't fix ourselves, and go to Him. He wants our prayer. He wants our devotion to Him. 

I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to try and pray everyday for a revival.  

Let's bring God back into America again.

One nation under God!

James 5:13-16 

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Silence

The other day was a bad day for me. It started out great. Got a couple new Shirts, and a sweet necklace.
And then we decided to go eat at buffalo wild wings. It's usually a fantastic place to eat. I decided to eat something a little healthier than my usual Mac and cheese. I ordered the grilled chicken tenders, while Joe went with wings. We wait an hour until finally we get our order. Except the waiter tries to give me crispy tenders. I kindly tell him I wanted grilled. He says no big deal and goes to correct it. Half an hour goes by and still nothing. I'm now thinking I should have just eaten the crispy ones. Joe reminds me that I don't like crispy. So I keep waiting. Another 15 mins go by and the waiter comes by and says it's going to be just a few minutes. I'm starving at this point but think, no problem. I can wait a few minutes. Another 20 minutes go by and now I'm seriously ticked off. Waiter comes by and says they've had problems in the kitchen all night due to remodeling and my food should be ready in a few minutes. By this time it's already a little after 9, so I tell them to forget about it and we'd like the check. The manager comes by and tells us she's comped the whole meal except for the drinks. Not wanting the server to suffer, we left him a 20 dollar tip because his service was good. We wanted him to get more than the restaurant that night. So we drive home and I get chicken from KFC. They skimped  me a piece and didn't put ice in my strawberry lemonade. Then we went to get ice cream cones and Baskin Robins had closed early. Then we got some from the gas station, and they were so frozen burnt I couldn't eat them and gave mine to Joe. I was so over the day. I got home and noticed my pendant on my new necklace was gone. Retraced our steps back to the car. Not there. I decided I was done, and started getting Sophia to bed. I lift her diaper bag off the ground and there it was. Woohoo.
We decided to watch the movie Silence.
It's a hard movie to get through. It's about Christians being persecuted in Japan in the 17th century. The only way to be free was to renounce Jesus.
Seeing that really smacked me in the face and reminded me that all my silly problems were first world problems and were nothing compared to what people are going through in other countries. I'm extremely blessed to have been brought up in a country where I can make my own choices and can worship Jesus freely. A lot of countries don't have that luxury. They still have to gather and worship in secret.
Humble us Lord. Help us not to forget about our brothers and sisters that are being persecuted every day just for loving you.

Nicu

Now that Sophia is home from the Nicu, that life seems forever ago. But let me tell you, it was real.

To anyone who ever is going through or will go through that experience, it will be OK. But you do have to keep your guard up. The doctors and nurses want you to sit back and let them do everything without your input. They sometimes are sneaky and try to do stuff that you don't approve of. In the beginning I was OK with that.

I didn't know any better. I thought they knew best.

But I soon learned. And I implore you, if it doesn't feel right, give it time and pray about it, and if you still feel it's not OK, don't let do that particular thing. I tell you. We had to fight. I think they were glad to get rid of us.

For example, they tried to give Sophia antibiotics when she was first born. We said no. And the doctors did not like that answer, but we stood firm, and guess what? Sophia didn't need them. They also wanted to give her lasik when she got a little puffy. I had a bad experience with LASIK, so I said no. Doctors and nurses whined, but guess what. Sophia was fine.

Another big thing were the eye exams. They wanted to give her bi monthly eye exams. We let them do one, but they didn't tell us the side effects would be puffy eyes and broken blood vessels, so it was a shock to us. And we decided to decline future eye exams. That was hard for them to hear. they were bugging us about it every single chance they got. It was getting ridiculous. They even had a big meeting with us on why we should do it. Believe me, it got hard to say no after so much pressure. But I prayed about it, that night I had a dream to sign the refusal form. It took a leap of faith, but as it turns out, Sophia's eyes are perfectly fine.

Then there was her feeding tube. Goodness, how I hated that thing. Once she started orally feeding, and I started staying there 24/7, I kept begging them to take the tube out. I knew she'd do better eating if she had it out. Sophia thought so too. She kept yanking it out everyday, as if to say, “ Hey I don't need this." The nurses would all put it back in and nobody gave her a chance. Until Kathy. Thank God for her. She was our favorite nurse, because she didn't care what the doctors said. She deliberately kept the tube out of Sophia just to see how Sophia would do. We were home 48 hrs later. Who knows how much longer we would have been in there.

Now I'm not saying y'all should do the exact same thing we did. Some babies need eye exams, or LASIK or antibiotics. Not every baby is the same. Sophia was just super healthy and didn't need any of that. She just needed lung support. But the Doctors liked to be overly cautious and sometimes didn't stop to think about the bigger picture. Every baby is different and they need to see that. I'm saying, don't just step back and become apathetic and let them do whatever they want and walk all over you. Think about the situation. Pray. Let God be your guide. Doctors are human too. They are not always right, and they don't always know what the best thing to do is. But they do mean well. I'm truly thankful for the doctors and nurses of the Nicu. They were wonderful. They helped Sophia so much. We got along with them 95% of the time. Sometimes we had trust them and let them do their thing. And it was OK. But I am saying, ask questions. You do have a choice. 

Guilt and grace

Ever since Sophia was born, I've been struggling with feelings of guilt. Guilt that I couldn't keep her in me longer than 27 weeks. Guilt that even though it was to save my life, she has to struggle to get through this crucial time in her life.

My brain knows it's ok and that she's just fine and that it was for the best, but my heart wishes she could have stayed until term and if I had my way she'd still be in me.

But God reminds me that he has a plan for everything and that this is for his glory. I see it everyday. The way Sophia has captured so many hearts. She is such a beautiful special little girl, and even though she's only been around for 4 ½ weeks, she's already touched so many people's lives. She's already doing so much for God and He's definitely using her to teach us patience and making us stronger.

God is the ultimate healer and I'm confident He'll heal her and make her stronger. My flesh wants to scoop her up and take all the struggles away from her, but God is reminding me that that's his job, and I need to trust Him.

And he's already shown me just how much he can do with her. She's smart, sweet, feisty and such a fighter. I know she'll come far and one day she'll come home to us. 

My pregnancy story

This is my pregnancy story.

When Joe and I first found out I was pregnant, we were ecstatic.  We hadn't planned it, but it was perfect. We couldn't wait to meet her. We already loved her so much.

The first trimester went great. Only symptoms I had was a little lower back pain and fatigue. I was hospitalized for a few days due to a kidney infection, but baby stayed healthy through it.

The second trimester started out great too.

I still worked, but was slowly losing energy. My kidney doctor told he didn't want me working once I hit my 3rd trimester. That bummed me out a bit, but I was determined to make the best of it. I had all these plans for the birth of our little girl. I would deliver full term and have a natural birth.

Boy,  was I wrong!

One day I had an appointment with my kidney doctor. The assistant checked my blood pressure and it was very high. I thought the guy didn't know what he was doing, but when another nurse checked it and it was still high, I was confused.

Then I thought it was because I had just gotten off work, drank a big apple cider and was excited about the new apartment we just got. The doctor prescribed me with blood pressure medicine, but I didn't even pick them up, because I thought they were silly and that I didn't need them.  

But I decided to keep an eye on my blood pressure just in case.

A week it was still very high, and I noticed my feet were swelling, and I was out of breath all the time and I gained 15 pounds in 2 weeks, so I decided to call my obgyn. She told me to go to the hospital right away. We drove down to regular hospital and they immediately hook me up to magnesium and proceeded to send me to my high risk hospital. I stayed there for 5 nights, and everyday I kept asking to go home and they kept saying no. Finally, the head obgyn doctor came by and told them to release me, but with strict orders to become a couch potato and no work and to take my meds how she wanted me to and to call in my blood pressure results everyday. For 5 days I did as she told me. I was excited to be home, but the drugs made me tired all the time. My blood pressure was still on  the high side but not as bad as it could be.

On Saturday the 10th,  in the middle of the day I took it again,  and it was higher than ever. Very frustrating. A nurse told me to come in, but I was stubborn and refused. But I kept monitoring it all night. At midnight, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I couldn't relax. I had been dreaming about my blood pressure and the hospital and that's what woke me. Looking back, I think God woke me up to warn me. I decided to take my blood pressure and it was in the high 170s. I woke up my husband, and we decided to take more medicine and check it for another hour. It refused to go down. So we decided to drive to the hospital right away. They hooked me up to magnesium again ( awful stuff) and took my blood.

My blood platelets were low. Too low.  For another 11 hours they kept monitoring me and keeping an eye on my blood. Normal platelet count is in the 100 thousands. Mine was ½ that. They kept decreasing to a dangerous level. Finally at 2:30 they said they would have to deliver my baby. I was devastated. It was too early. 13 weeks too early. I later found out that my life was in danger unless I had delivered. They told me they had to put me under because an epidural would be too dangerous.  I was scared to death because I dreaded c-sections. Plus they were doing a classical one, which means my next pregnancy will have to be a c-section too.  I was scared to go under.

An hour later, they wheeled me back and got me all hooked up. They put a mask on me, and last thing I remembered was asking how long it took for the drug to take effect, right when the nurse was adding it to my iv. Less than a minute later the drug hit me,  because the next thing I remember was waking up and seeing Joe's face, and him telling me we had a beautiful baby girl. I was told later that during surgery I had to have 2 blood transfusions. I also had 2 more when I was awake. One that day, and another the next day. That's how much blood I lost. Scary huh? But I'm alive, thanks to God. I learned that God doesn't do things exactly how you expect them to go, but i wouldn't have it any other way. God gave us a beautiful strong girl. And even though Sophia has to spend 3 months in NICU, I know God will take care of her and she'll grow big and strong. She's already such a fighter and super sassy and feisty. She'll go far.