a prayer and reflection.

Lord, deliver me from me. Deliver me to You. help me not to worry what the future holds. Help to place all my trust in you. Help me give up wanting to always be in control of my own life. Help me turn it over to you. Help me to stop obsessing over the little things. Help me know that you will always be there for me.
God help me be there for others. Help me to show others your love and how incredible you are. Help me to not keep others at an arms length and that I will be able to listen to them and encourage them and be there for them. Give me patience to wait to see what time brings and not wanting to know everything. For there is a time for everything.
To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes

Lord deliver me from the desire to be noticed, loved, exalted
Lord deliver me from the desire to be favored, popular chosen or acknowledged
Lord deliver me from the fear of being wrong, forgotten or ignored
Lord deliver me from the fear of being humiliated or left behind
Grant that I may seek to comfort rather than be comforted by others
Grant that I may understand and love more than be understood and loved well
Lord deliver me from the desire to be noticed and encouraged
Lord deliver me from the desire to be appreciated and included- Sara Beth

I love this song by Sara Beth. The first time I heard it, it spoke to me, to my heart. It was as if she had looked in my soul and wrote the song about me. Which is impossible because she doesn't know me. But it made me realize, I'm not alone in feeling this way. Everyone struggles with wanting to be noticed, or appreciated, or fitting in with others at some point in their life. I know I do. But really, I think God wants us to stop trying so much to be noticed by others, and just focus on Him and just be ourselves. God loves us for who we are, not who we want and try to be. And being yourself is less exhausting than working so hard to fit in. And also we need to love others for how they are, and not expect them to be different just because you don't like some unique quality about them that may be different than what you're used to. I'm guilty of wishing that on others. Just love them for who they are. And if it's too hard, ask God for help. You don't have to do it alone. God is here for us. Another important thing to remember is, love God. Sometimes it's just so easy to forget about Him and focus on our lives, but He gave us life. He loves us so much. So much that He sent His only son, Jesus to die for our sins that we deserve to die for, just so we can spend eternity with Him. So often we forget that. I know I do, and I desperately don't want to.
God, help me be focused on you and remember your precious gift that you gave us. Help me to love You everyday and help me to love others how You love them. Help me not to be focused on my own life and problems, instead help me find ways to help others out. I can't do this without you. Thank you for Your love, and thank you for sending Jesus to save us from our sins, so that one day we can spend eternity with you.

Girls are Crazy......

Yes I think most girls are crazy. It's true! They always think they are right, when actually most of the time they're not. They go have giant mood swings, they'll anylyze every little thing you say and take it to a whole different meaning. Poor guys. They put up with all of our craziness, and nothing they say ever seems to be good enough. A good example of this is, the other day I asked a guy a work why he never took my trash out at night when he works with me. The thing is, he used to take it out for me all the time so that i could get out in time and one night I told him he didn't need to because trash was going to be called early and I felt bad that he was going to take it when I could. And so he assumed that meant I never wanted him to take it anymore, which he had every right to assume that because that's what it sounded like. And so he was right to be confused when I told him he should take it out for me again. Poor guy. Perfect example of why girls are crazy and you never know what they're thinking.
While girls are crazy, we do have good qualities. We are loyal and will love you no matter what. We will defend you, we will bend over backwards to make you happy. We will laugh with you and keep you company. You have to admit, if girls were normal, life would get boring. So I for one am glad that I'm crazy even if it drives you guys crazy. Besides I wouldn't be Miriam if I weren't crazy. Life would be quiet and boring without a crazy person in your life. :) believe me, I've tried being normal and it's no fun. :) you need fun in your life! :)

Changes

Here I am sitting at the kitchen counter desperately needing to get a problem solving workbook done for starbucks, but instead I'm typing this. Where to begin? Well first of all, a lot has changed in the past couple weeks. There was a wedding and a big move. My twin sister met the man of her dreams and fell madly in love him, and he with her and they decided they could not live with out each other and decided to tie the knot. It was a beautiful gathering. It was beautiful yet simple, and just the right amount of guests. I got to see my Pappy and his wife, my older sister and her family and of course my parents.  It was so wonderful to see them all. My sister looked incredible and was a picture perfect bride. It was truly special for her.

  While it was a happy occasion, it was also bittersweet. How was I going to say goodbye to my sister who I've been with for the past 25 1/2 years? Our road together has come to a fork in the road. She'll walk down one road with a new person, while I'll walk down the other path, ready to take on new adventures that come my way, hoping to find a new companion to share the road with. So I packed my bags and journeyed to the east side ready to start in a new scary city that's far from any of my familiar sorroundings. But I have two great friends as roommates so it will not be as scary as I anticipated.

 Life is an adventure, and full of changes and surprises. You never know where it's going to take you. There are are days when you think you have it all figured out, and than unexpectantly out of the blue, it gets shaken up and you realize that you have no earthly idea what's going to happen and you just need to laugh at yourself for thinking you knew everything. So just take it as it comes and try not to be disappointed if it doesn't go how you wanted or expected. Everything happens for a reason, and its up to you if you're going to accept those changes with a good attitude or a bad one, because life will keep moving on with or without you.

 It's also very important to remember that God will go with you on your journey if you allow him to come. He will always be there to guide you through your trials, temptations, joyful moments and anything in between. His grace is incredible, and his mercy and love is never ending. It is new every morning. How deep the Father's love for us. Great is His faithfulness. Our God is mighty to save.

My heart is NOT broken

So after my previous posts, people have been coming to me asking if everything is ok and why I said I didn't want to get married and telling me not to give up on love, etc. I'm really ok. I don't have a broken heart seeing as I've never had a boyfriend. That story was not about me. It was about an old friend of mine. And the things I said about never falling in love was done rashly. I guess I was depressed about my sister going off and getting married and leaving me behind. It's hard, especially since we've lived together for 25 years and now everything is changing. I admit I'm scared of change. But don't get me wrong; I'm sooo happy for my sister that she found someone who's so good for her and I know one day that will be me. I always thought we'd kinda fall in love at the same time but I've realized our story lines are different and things don't happen the same. :) I love Esther sooo much and I'm so glad to have been there to watch her grow. :)
And remember everyone, you are all so wonderful and beautiful! And if you're going through a hard time, just remember you are amazing and it will get better. You are loved and whatever you've done that you wish you could take back, please don't dwell over it, you are loved. Just remember we all make mistakes but if we confess those mistakes and ask for forgiveness, you will be forgiven. God loves you all so much and his grace is sufficient. I also love you so much, and I suck at holding grudges and I will always forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me for all the stupid things I've said and done. To all my friends, thanks so much for loving me for who I am, no matter how crazy I can be. Thank you God for being my savior.

Something not as depressing

I know my last few blogs have been kind of depressing and extremely personal, which I'm sorry for.
So I'll try and make this one more light warming for you. Life has been crazy busy recently with lots of changes. First off, my twin sister Esther got engaged!!!!! :) yay! I'm the maid of honor which means I get to help plan stuff like food and bachelorette parties (which I really need to get a move on with. Anyone wanna help plan the bachelorette party?) I cannot wait for the wedding! It'll be so fun. There will be food and dancing and great fellowship! That reminds me, anyone want to be my hot date? ;)
Also a few more random things. I've been to the movies so much this summer! I've seen Fast 6, Star Trek, man of Steele and world war z. I recommend them all especially Star Trek.
I've developed an obsession with all things peach. We have a new peach syrup at Starbucks and I put it in everything!!! Sooooo good! 😍
I'm pretty sure there's a guy at work who's stalking me. Little creepy not going to lie. He knows my car and knows if I'm here or not just by checking to see if my apron is there or not. He walks by my department any chance he gets and stops to chat. I've hung out with him only twice but I have only always seen him as a friend. He is a nice guy but he doesn't believe in God and he swears a lot so I know I could never be with him.
Ok what else? I got a dress and shoes for Esther's wedding for under 40 bucks and they're super cute too! I'm excited to try them out. It'll be so fun! :)  lalalala I have really been wanting to buy a gun. I think it'd be awesome to learn to shoot. Maybe I could become a cowgirl someday. I got to hold a real sword on Friday. It was pretty bomb.com. I swung it around like I was a ninja or a pirate and nearly stabbed myself but it was worth it. I'm just glad I didn't hurt Tory when I was swinging like crazy. I imagined I was fighting off zombies or monsters or something way cool. I have decided its fun to burst into song randomly and see what people do. Some laugh while others just think I'm a crazy lady. Which I may be just a little bit. Hehe. Ok time for bed. I'm sleepy. Hope you get joy from this post.

The lost hope. (Continued) a story about an evil plan

Across the forest in a small kingdom, there ruled a strong mighty yet humble king. His name was Henry. The people loved him, for he was kind and loving and was always providing for them. Henry had a weakness however. He always saw the good in everyone and therefore did not realize that his most trusted advisor Lucius was  in fact a terrible and evil sorcerer planning to overthrow Henry. Not only that, Lucius was planning to murder the king that night and destroy the whole kingdom. Lucius also was breeding a horrific and most terrifying army of many different creatures that he would use to take over the whole realm. Among his army he had dragons and goblins and monters too horrible to describe. It seemed all hope would be lost, for no one knew of this evil plan. Or was there someone?
A hundred miles away a warrior was riding hard towards the kingdom, hoping to reach the king before nightfall. He had a long journey ahead of him but he knew he could never give up no matter how weary he was for even a minutes rest would hinder the quest. He prayed that he would make it in time, and grew anxious by the hour. Will he get there or will it be too late? He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he failed to notice the giant fallen tree in his path. His horse stopped abruptly and he went flying into a boulder losing unconsciousness.


Ok that's all for now. Hope y'all like this chapter and hopefully I'll have more soon for ya!! :)